Suffering is an inevitable part of mortal existence that can be redemptive when we allow it to draw us closer to God and to each other. Peacemaking requires that we be willing both to suffer voluntarily for just causes and to alleviate the suffering of others wherever possible. In both cases, we emulate the Savior himself. For those to whom we cannot provide relief, we bear witness to their suffering, mourn with them in solidarity, and persistently shine a light on the causes of that suffering. MWEG’s Fourth Principle of Peacemaking
“Blessed be God . . . the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort: who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-5
And it came to pass that he said unto them: Behold, here are the waters of Mormon (for thus were they called) and now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people, and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, and to stand as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places that ye may be in, even until death, that ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life. Mosiah 18:8-9
Suffering is universal, but our responses to it are varied. We each have to grapple with both how to react to our own pain and to the face of another’s anguish. How we experience the latter has its roots in how we deal with the former.
Consider the stark example in Alma 62:41 when, “many had become hardened because of the exceedingly great length of the war; and many were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility.” We find additional illumination in the words of Martin Luther King, Jr:
“As my sufferings mounted I soon realized that there were two ways that I could respond to my situation: either to react with bitterness or to seek to transform the suffering into a creative force. I decided to follow the latter course.”
Each of us suffers; therefore, we are universally faced with a choice between bitter hardness and the soft humility that can lead us to be a creative force for good. Chances are that we will experiment with a variety of feelings and actions along the spectrum in between. The reality of a mortal life will continue to feed us pain and sorrow, and we will hopefully inch our way toward greater wisdom and tenderness.
In the midst of trying to develop the graciousness to properly cope with our own pain, we must also struggle with our reactions to the suffering of another. The “natural woman” within us might lean toward a combination of the following reflexes:
Assume and look for a reason why this person has caused their own pain (so that we might learn how to avoid a similar predicament for ourselves).
Look away, because it is too much for us to bear to see.
Seek a solution that will quickly fix things, but neglect to invite ideas for solutions from the one who is in the midst of it.
State that there is nothing to be done because the problem is too complex and entrenched.
As we resist our instincts to place blame, ignore, fix quickly, or give up, a more complex and compassionate path begins to emerge. This path is one marked by covenant keeping and starts with the promises we make at baptism:
“[A]nd now, as ye are desirous to come into the fold of God, and to be called his people and are willing to bear one another’s burdens, that they may be light; Yea, and are willing to mourn with those that mourn; yea, and comfort those that stand in need of comfort . . .” (Mosiah 18:8-9).
Bearing another’s burden means being willing to sacrifice and take on some discomfort ourselves as we attempt to lighten the load of another. It implies an action — to reach over and take up a portion. This action can take many forms, such as studying, educating others, and trying to effect change within groups and institutions. When done prayerfully, with guidance of those who are most affected and in the spirit of keeping our covenants, the Lord will both guide and amplify our efforts. He will open doors we cannot unlock on our own, and he will inspire us to do what will have the greatest impact.
The act of mourning in solidarity with another may accompany bearing, or it may take place on its own. At times, we might not have the strength to actively bear but can find a place in our hearts to mourn. We should not underestimate the power of sharing the sacred experience of grief with another, whether we are beside them physically or symbolically.
Opening our hearts to try to understand the suffering of our fellow children of God means we often will be confronted with an inability to provide relief in the way our hearts desire. A productive path forward, then, is to search for the causes of their anguish and “persistently shine a light” so that others who are better equipped to help may know how to reach them. In doing so, we are both mourning in solidarity and inspiring others to do likewise.
The process of examining this covenant-keeping path leads us back to where we started. Christ’s suffering is sacred whether people accept it or not. However, not all other suffering is sacred on its own, but it is our bearing, mourning, and shining that makes it so.
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